Game 33 – Quick Summary

Match day summary for match 33

Saturday, April 18

Brentford 0-0 Fulham

Not a game at all, lacks quality, lacks excitement. True inside diameter drawn.

Starman:
Fans bothered to sit through it all.

trigger:
The team failed to create anything worth watching.

Leeds United 3-0 Wolves

Leeds United’s performance completely outplayed a Wolves side who looked completely abandoned. That would almost certainly be enough to ensure Leeds retain their Premier League spot next season, while Wolves do not. As a game, it is a non-entity.

Starman:
Calvert-Lewin – The Wolves couldn’t handle him.
Okafor – Goals and assists.
Justin – He looks like a very smart signing and has a nice overhead kick too.

trigger:
Bentley – Not good enough at this level.
Armstrong – Runs around a lot with little, if any, effect. He is clearly far from a Premier League level player and his performances in the Championship have been poor.
Gomez – All three of them were terrible from the start, and the one they replaced wasn’t much better, but Angel Gomez stood out as the worst player on the pitch.
Tchatchoua – Every time I see him, he looks like a really bad player.

Newcastle United 1-2 Bournemouth

It was clear that Howe’s inability to organize the defense left his team completely unable to cope with Illaura’s fast, attacking, high-intensity style of football. Newcastle did make a huge improvement when Bruno Guimarães came on after the hour mark, but it wasn’t enough for them to get the result. Bournemouth are the better managed team and fully deserved this win after a fantastic win away from home. With Iraura leaving them in the summer, he will certainly have plenty of job opportunities available to him.

Starman:
Hill – He’s not quite at the level of the centre-back pairing they lost in the summer, but he’s a very good, consistent centre-back with decent passing ability.
Rayan – A very exciting young winger.
Truffaut – The only player in the current back four who can match last season’s quartet.
Elora – To have this team challenge for Europe is an incredible achievement. But doing it while playing recreational football is even better.

trigger:
RAMSDALE – There is still a lack of concentration.
Ramsey – struggled to cope with the cherry movement in midfield.
Crupi – Talented but struggled with inconsistency in his youth.

Tottenham Hotspur 2-2 Brighton

A poor Spurs team finally showed signs of life and improvement, but they were still outplayed for long periods by Brighton, who still struggled to put the ball in the net often. Despite their progress, Spurs don’t look good enough to escape the slide and still retain the same mentality that has held them back for so long. The 77th-minute goal and the ridiculous celebration that followed looked so familiar, you could sense a sense of frustration in Richarlison on the sidelines as Simmons took off his shirt and went wild. That’s when the Seagulls almost inevitably equalized in injury time, leaving Spurs in deeper trouble.

Starman:
Simmons – Not because he plays well, he’s a terrible player despite his goals and assists, and it’s bad, but, and that’s a big but, his over-the-top celebration after he scores is so funny because you know what’s going to happen next.
Gross – He may be a veteran, but he’s still a great player and his return really elevates BHA.

trigger:
Tottenham – As a whole this team is complete shit and not a single player has performed well enough to deserve to be in the Premier League next season.
Verbruggen – His mistakes cost Spurs a horrific goal.
Weaver – He looks like what he is, a midfielder out of position at full-back.

Chelsea 0-1 Manchester United

Chelsea are in dire straits under Ronnie Orr and are really under pressure, while Manchester United will be looking to mount a comeback after losing at home to arch-rivals Leeds United. Chelsea have lost three games in a row but will surely hope they have a chance against a makeshift backline as the Red Devils go into the game without most of their centre-backs. Beyond that, it’s been a long time since Manchester United beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Despite this, United won comfortably 1-0, while Chelsea almost looked terrible throughout the 90 minutes. They are regressing badly at the moment and should probably be thankful they didn’t put Ronnie Orr in place so early in the season!

Starman:
Fernandez – a real top player in all his performances.
Mainoo – The decision to let Amorim overlook him looks silly.
PARADISE – The 19-year-old is the only healthy centre-back in the first-team squad and is playing extremely well.

trigger:
Gusto – Terrible player.
Caicedo – His form has hit a cliff recently and appears to be still declining.
PALMER — doesn’t appear to be close to a full recovery.
Neto – looks to have some similarities to the player he was at Wolves.
Delap – They don’t seem to know how to use him to get the most out of him.
Garnacho – A truly terrible football player, I have no idea how he made the team.
Ronnie Orr – He’s the quintessential bunny in the headlights. I don’t know anything about “men getting older”.

Sunday, April 19

Aston Villa 4-3 Sunderland

Villa won comfortably 3-1, but after McGinn was substituted, the Mammoths were able to beat Villa comfortably, making the game decidedly uncomfortable. A late shot from substitute Tammy Abraham was needed to save three points. Overall, it was a good reminder of how reliant Villa are on their midfield trio of McGinn, Tielemans and Onana, whose form has plummeted alarmingly during the season’s injury absence. It was also a reminder of Sunderland’s great attitude that gave them such a fantastic season. Even when they were at their lowest point, they never gave up.

Starman:
McGinn – He was key to Villa’s victory. Without him, they lost control in midfield.
Watkins – seemed to be back to his best and had two goals and an assist.
le Fee – Excellent on the ball and giving it his all.

trigger:
Sancho – His arrival as McGinn’s replacement almost cost points away.
Mandava – A critical error resulted in a goal conceded.
Rovers – Not back to his best form after returning from injury.

Nottingham Forest 4-1 Burnley

After a terrible first half, Forest lost at half-time to a very, very bad Burnley side. The second half was a completely different game, with Pereira no doubt launching some rockets from the back and Forest showing what they were capable of tearing the Clarets to shreds to earn a convincing win.

Starman:
Anderson – The England midfielder is playing well after losing his mother.
Gibbs White – The midfielder scored a hat-trick and finally came into his own.
Jesus – Just because he wasn’t Bakwa, replacing him at half-time was enough to change the game.

trigger:
Ward-Prowse – Lacks mobility and quality at this level.
Walker – He can quickly become a liability.

Everton 1-2 Liverpool

The Toffees had never had a better chance of beating Liverpool but Moyes’ caution once again cost them dearly, although the absence of Berto through injury in the second half didn’t help either. It was a poor performance from both teams, but Liverpool fans can at least be satisfied with the result. The difference in quality between the two teams vying for European football next season is staggering. When it’s a local derby, it’s also hard to be happy to see two teams that look happy to draw. The game was memorable because Hill Dickinson hosted the Merseyside derby for the first time, Salah scored the final goal in the Merseyside derby, and Van Dijk’s late winner. Liverpool’s latest goal in the derby.

Starman:
No one – no one – no player or coach can bring glory to themselves in terms of performance.

trigger:
Everyone – a truly terrible derby under the watchful eyes of two negative coaches.

Manchester City 2-1 Arsenal

This sort of thing is usually very disappointing as the two teams cancel each other out and produce a draw. The game was anything but boring, although part of that was due to the high number of mistakes, especially from the two goalkeepers. However, when the chips are down, City rise to the occasion and Arsenal fail. Surely they didn’t bottle it again? Do they have it? Ironically, it was one of their best performances in the Premier League this season, but the Gunners ultimately lost. They have looked terrible in recent weeks, but this is one of the better performances and they can perhaps take some comfort from it, even if the result could be catastrophic for them. Citeh are in a dominant position now and just need to keep winning, which they tend to do at this time of year.

Starman:
Cherki – Great goal, but he does have a tendency to lose the ball on the ball, sometimes in dangerous areas. A great player to watch and it’s great to see a modern footballer with character really showing his personality on the pitch.
Silva – He was almost everywhere at Manchester City.
Haaland – His running battle with Gabriel was the real highlight of the game.
O’Reilly – looks like the player the media has made Foden out to be.

trigger:
Donnarumma – He did look uncomfortable with the ball at his feet and he gave up a goal because of his indecision.
Marduk – A very strange purchase, honestly not sure what he offers.
Gabriel – Lucky not to be sent off. For some reason, he is turning into Konate, forgetting that his job is to keep the ball away from the net, not to stop players at all costs while forgetting about the ball.
Raya – looked uncharacteristically unhappy on the ball.

Monday, April 20

Crystal Palace 0-0 West Ham United

The draw was boring, with neither club really trying to win. Crystal Palace have little to do in mid-table but the Hammers are hampered by Nuno, a naturally cautious coach. This was a game where defense had the upper hand, but mostly because neither team had any real desire to attack.

Starman:
Canvot – Fills Guehi’s shoes nicely.
Lacroix – I’m sure bigger clubs will be looking at him in the summer.
Mavropanos – Looked like a very solid defender in recent weeks.
Disasi – very suitable for Nuno’s tactical setup.

trigger:
Larsen – doesn’t really look like a Premier League player at the moment.
Johnson – Nothing but weakness.
Bowen – Rarely had an off day, but he was poor, especially in the first half.

Written by Tris Burke April 22, 2026 17:05:19

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