Main events
Manchester United’s next matches:
Sunday, October 25: Bournemouth (hours)
Saturday, October 31: Chelsea
Tuesday, November 3: Rome (h)
Sunday, November 8: Aston Villa (h)
Sunday, November 22: Liverpool (a)
“United” players go here and there No more drowning their sorrows in the nearby hostel, apologizing to any feeble remnants of travel support.
Final score: Como 4-1 Manchester United
90+4 minutes: Say what you will about this United performance, they completely dominated stoppage time and won 1-0!
PURPOSE! Como 4:1 Manchester United (Zirkzee, 90+1 min)
United have a consolation! Amad flicks a pass into the box, eludes Zirkzee’s marker and brings it down beautifully, leaving himself with a remarkably easy finish which he calmly completes.
90+1 minutes: There will be a three minute downtime or so.
89 minutes: … It’s not like they can’t. Lacey takes a corner and three defenders line up at the near post to clear the ball, which one of them does.
89 minutes: Amad scored a corner for United. Could they end the night with consolation?
87 minutes: Lacey quickly earns the booking. “The Guardian called for danger in this competition. I think Man Utd have got it for you,” writes Ian Copestake. Their remaining Champions League games: Roma (h), Sporting (a), Leipzig (h), Bayern Munich (h), Villarreal (a).
86 minutes: Another substitution, Lacey replacing Mbeumon.
84 minutes: Kempf was penalised, I think less for taking down Amad than for taking offense at the referee for taking the free kick.
82 minutes: Manchester United last lost by four goals in Europe against a team that included Stoickov, Romario and a man called Guardiola more than 30 years ago.
80 minutes: Como brings in Smolcic, Ricci and Dossena and sends out Couto, Paz and Perrone.
79 minutes: Amass’s return from injury replaces De Ligt, the silver lining in tonight’s miserable, coal-grey cloud for United.
78 minutes: Comeau hunts for fifth but Paz hits Lammens too close.
PURPOSE! 4-0 as Ohno (Ramon, 76 mins)
This is delicious. Centre-back Ramon sees Maguire creeping out of position and figures he can get into that gap unnoticed. And it turns out he was right. Kaiki Bruno sees him sprint into the empty box and delivers a perfect, accurate pass and Ramon heads home from six yards!
73 minutes: Zirkzee has brought some extra pace and energy to United’s team, albeit without an improvement in control. “Well, while watching a club go from one manager to another is great fun (as a Liverpool fan) chasing the dominance they once had (ahem), how much of the current anxiety can be blamed on trying to keep up with rowdy neighbors across town?” Andy Flintoff is surprised (he isn’t). “Feeling they had to do that probably accelerated that swing and made the slippages more extreme.” I suppose it couldn’t have helped, although it had a more positive effect on some other teams (if not their bank balances).
69 minutes: For Da Cunha comes Kaiki Bruno and his iconic caterpillar moustache.
67 minutes: Bruno Fernandes is sent off, a bit like an admission of defeat. Zirkzee replaces him.
66 minutes: Amad hits from 22 yards. The ball went over Butez’s head and probably onto the post, but the keeper made sure.
64 minutes: Como brings Caqueret for Baturina. United have been playing with Mazraoui on the right and Dalot on the left for the last five minutes.
62 minutes: Amad has been brilliant since coming on at half-time. He is at the heart of United’s attack but it ends with a blind cross and a clearance. “Watching United at the moment, they look like a side that can’t move,” writes Paul Flint. “The players certainly know Carrick will be gone sooner rather than later and should be concerned about their future. It does not encourage in-game focus, no matter how much they are paid.”
60 minutes: Tielemans has a shot from the edge of the box but it’s more of an excuse than a challenge and Butez takes it.
59 minutes: Paz tries another curler from outside D but it floats too close to Lammens.
PURPOSE! Manchester United 3:0 (Half time, 57 minutes)
Baleba flicked the pass onto the shin of Nico Paz In the United half and the ball goes beautifully into the Argentinian’s path, so he gets his head, runs into the area, draws the keeper and slides the ball over the bar and at the far post!
56 minutes: A really good United move ended with Mount flicking the ball towards Bruno Fernandes but it was caught.
55 minutes: Como should have been third! Paz crosses to Da Cunha who gets onto his left foot to set up a great shooting chance 12 yards out, but then instead of curling the ball with his foot he cuts it and it curls the wrong side of the post!
54 minutes: Lee Woolsey writes: “Watching United’s downfall has been fun for rival fans, which I completely understand and I don’t blame them for enjoying it.” “And I know fans talk a lot about their team when they play badly, but I’m sorry: this United team just don’t seem to care. They scored after two minutes and the remaining 43 was a collective shrug exercise by a team of mercenaries recruited by a parasitic witch-kingdom. These are vile players for this club.” It is very easy to blame the players. They are not well trained. They are not well recruited. It’s the whole building.
52 minutes: “Don’t have a screen to watch this and just going on mbm, I don’t think Mount has been mentioned, does it do as little as suggested?” Martin admires Lanko. In short, yes. United’s midfielder has not done much. There were a few moments in the first half when Mount exchanged passes with Bruno Fernandes and the pair briefly looked classy, but they failed to produce anything creative. When I wrote that Mount was shooting garbage from 30 yards.
50 minutes: It’s very easy. Paz takes the ball forward, Douvikas runs into a big gap between De Ligt and Maguire, who didn’t see the run coming – the Dutchman stumbles at the crucial moment, but he was already out of the race – and finishes brilliantly!
PURPOSE! Como 2:0 Manchester United
Brighter restart for United but in just over three minutes, two people are down!
46 minutes: Peeeep! The game restarted and United made a double half-time substitution, with Matheus Cunha and Andrey Santos, Diallo and Baleba coming on.
Just one goal, and that from a beautiful shot from outside, it doesn’t reflect what isn’t really a tightly contested game. United had a good chance a few minutes later, and even that came after some terrific ball control by Diogo Dalot and a successful dive by Perrone, Dalot’s failure to control the football was not so much unexpected as inconceivable. I’m not sure what UEFA classifies as “offensives”, but Como have 16 of them, while United have five.
First half: Como 1-0 Manchester United
45+2 minutes: It never rains, but it rains, etc.
45+1 minutes: A one-minute layover is between United and a blow-dryer treatment (or whatever they’ve got these days when it’s rubbish).
45 minutes: A real blow for United! Matheus Cunha receives the ball from the left corner of the area, returns to the goal, then spins and spins into the roof of the net.
43 minutes: More work for Lammens, this time to keep out Baturina’s 20 yarder. He can’t hold it, but Douvikas is offside again when he gets to the rebound. Joshua Keeling writes, “It’s crazy that Diogo Dalot is a professional footballer.”
41 minutes: United saved with an offside flag! Douvikas is played again, Lammens comes out and the striker goes over his leg… but the flag goes up!
39 minutes: A real chance! With no pressure on him, Yann Couto plays a nice pass over the United defense to Douvikas, who brings him under control before savagely smashing a shot that leaves his shin high and wide when he really should have scored.